Dale Carnegie I’m not. And neither was the guy I met at Kroger today. I was in the cheese aisle staring into space trying to decide if I felt like forking out $11 for a very small wedge of stilton with cranberries when a noticed someone staring at me. Since we made eye contact, it was only natural to smile and nod a friendly “how ya’ doin’?” in his direction. I threw the Stilton in my cart (because it is SO worth $11) and went about my shopping. A few minutes later while picking the kiwi’s out of the salad bar fruit tray, I felt a tiny tap on my shoulder. Hey, it’s my buddy from the cheese section. Here’s how the conversation went:
Him: Excuse me. Do you live around here?
Me (slightly confused): Umm, yeah.
Him: I am new to this area and do not friend anyone. Would you want to friend me and go out and sometime?
(Did I mention he was a very small Indian man who was a little difficult to understand?)
Me: That is very sweet and I would love to, but I don’t think my husband would appreciate that. Sorry! And good luck!
Him: Sorry please. Thank you.
While the interaction took about 30 seconds, here I am 7 hours later still thinking about it. I admit, I was taken off guard and wasn’t exactly sure what to do. The more I think about it though, the more I wish I’d have taken more time to help the guy. I mean, I love making friends. I network for a living! And yet, there I was completely pixilated by his simple request. What I should have said was, “There’s a wine tasting here at 7:00 over by the cheeses, you should check it out.” Or some small nugget of helpful information other than “good luck.”
So why was it so difficult? Perhaps it was the rumble in my stomach telling me to get home and eat some cheese and fruit. Perhaps it was because I was not in network mode at the local supermarket surrounded by sample-pushers, rambunctious children (followed closely by their stressed out mom counterparts), and scurrying folks picking up last minute supplies for a Saturday night get together. But as a person who claims to love people and is always looking to connect, why was I so quick to dismiss someone who came out and asked (regardless of how awkward)? Because it wasn’t a “networking event” or a “professional social event”? So what?
I was somewhere with large quantities of people. When I go to the grocery store I even attempt to look halfway decent because I know there’s a good chance I’ll run into someone I either know or I want to know (I just did not expect to run into *that* someone.) He thought the same thing. He knew the basics…if you shop here you must live here, if you live here you are my neighbor, if you are my neighbor you could be my friend.
Even though I froze up and was a poor example of what people-friendly looks like, I learned something valuable today…you can meet people and make friends anywhere, when you least expect it. So, Mr. Produce-aisle-friend-maker-guy, I hope someone is more accepting that I was of your real life friend request (but you may want to work on your approach).
